So this morning I get up and decide that enough is enough. I am doing well eating wise and exercise, well I could be doing much better and I will. Best course of action for me right now is to do a few things to change my life.
- TTC is put on the back burner until I get my health in order
- The weight issue needs to be worked on. I need to start taking better care of myself.
- Eating has got to change.. I am not really a bad eater, just gotta seriously cut my portions in half.
- I need to get OFF this computer and start spending time outside, in the sun, in the park, smelling the grass, interacting with people.
The time has come... I am so sick of this shit and fed up with my lack of lust for life that I need to change some ways.
Im still going to chart my temps just to see what changes as I loose the lbs, Im still going to write in my blog, cuz lord knows this is my saving grace most days.
If you are reading this, the chances are you are going to care about my welfare and be there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on because Im frustrated, aggrivated and deterred by everyday life.
The reality is all I really want is to be a mom, but apparently someone thinks otherwise. I obviously need to make the appropriate changes to achieve that goal.
Im ready for the ride, Im ready to try, Im determined to win.
1 comment:
well i am here for you, but you already know that. the problem is that i am here in the computer...ahhhh. i think you are right. i know for me, i dwelled a lot and spent a lot of time on the computer and inside, i sunk lower and lower into depression. i had no energy and no zest for anything. finally i went to a counsellor. to be honest i didn't care for her much but she gave me a pamphlet on depression and one of the steps to overcoming depression on it was reintegrating yourself into society. i thought long about this that night and then decided that i needed to make the effort. first i just started talking to someone at work and then we went to a movie, then the next week i called up an old friend and she was so thrilled that i actually wanted to leave the house. i started asking marko to go for walks and asking my mom to come in for lunch. soon i felt busy again, things started to come back to life. it was hard at first but soon i started to find some joy again. i think it is important to have people you know online. sometimes it is easier to talk about inside stuff to people you don't see everyday. and the value of others who have been through a similiar tragedy is immeasurable. but it is good to have balance. i hope today you got out, maybe a walk tonight to feel the cool evening air wash over you. i wish you luck on this endeavor. it is all about the follow through and so with that i lightly nudge you out the door...
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