I heard a terrible story today from my little old neighbor lady. She is in her 70's. Her husband died about a year ago, and as a neighborly person I offered to take her on grocery trips if she needs something. Her daughter does take her once a month when she gets her check, but on occasion she will ring the bell and ask for me to take her. On the way back she has to stop at Mc. Donalds for a bunch of burgers she freezes for when she feels like a snack she tells me.
Ok so you are probably wondering what this picture has to do with this sweet old lady. Today she dinged the bell at 8am. Needless to say I was still asleep, all groggy I go to the door, She apologizes for waking me and asks me to take her to mall if I could "sometime this week" I told her I would be able to take her in about an hour if that was ok. I told her I needed to shower and grab some breakfast. She said "Since you always take me on errands and fight with me when I try to give you gas money, how about I take you to breakfast. I agreed.
We sat there for quite a while talking. I am listening to all her wonderful stories and memories,I told her about Michael, which I hadn't done before, Then she pulls up her sweater sleeve to reveal a scar on her wrist. Instantly I get scared, OMG I think, is she trying to kill herself and reaching out for help. I guess the look on my face told the story and she explained to me when she was 13 her Daddy had done some awful things to her, and that she was tied to a some heat source and the rope caught fire and burnt her wrist. She was so "matter of fact" about everything she was telling me. I ended up not feeling bad because she was trying to explain to me that no matter how bad the situation, you will always make it through.
She told me that after her father did the things he did to her that she lost all respect for herself. Back in those days, girls didn't do the things they are doing today, but she said she was often sneaking around to be with older men when she was 14. She met and married her husband at 16, he was 10 yrs her senior. She said she had a beautiful life with him but never was able to gain her self respect back. She wondered had she told her husband of her promiscuous way, had she have been more at peace with herself once he accepted her knowing her past.
I assured her husband would have loved her no matter what. She told me her father died when she was 17, he was a coal miner and had lung cancer. She never told him how much he hurt her, and never told anyone in her family about what happened. I started to wonder if I was the only person she ever told.
She is such a sweet little old lady, I feel bad because she is alone a lot. There are times I want to bring a pot of tea over and just listen to her old stories, but I dont want to intrude. I find myself looking forward to our trips to the store.
4 comments:
i guarantee there is no way you are intruding. you should go, i bet you will make an enormous difference in her life, and her's in yours. we meet people for a reason, i believe we teach other lessons and life is full of should have and could be's. if you feel moved to visit her you should, and maybe bring her some fresh burgers as a snack (frozen mc donald's ughh)! what a treat to meet someone that compells you into new ways of thinking...
I went to visit her this afternoon but she was getting her hair done and was embarressed to be seen. So old school.. LOL
Another day I told her.
That made me cry. I lost my g-mother when I was in 8th grade, but I LOVED her stories. She was the only grandparent I really knew.
When I got married, my husbands grandfather on his mom's side (kind of a gruff personality)"adopted" me. He let us live in his home when we had no where to go. When HE moved out to stay with my mil (health reasons), we moved back to his house. He would come over and bring TONS of groceries. He was always telling me stories, teaching me things, giving me recipes. I sat with him in the hospital many times, when other family was working. I even snuck him a sandwich he REALLY REALLY wanted.
After we moved away (3 hours), his health turned worse. He visited us 3 days before his death. We had so much fun.
I miss him so, so much. Our first angel has his name for his middle name. I know grandpa is taking care of our angels, though, telling them stories...
J
Beautiful.. I visited her tonight briefly, she was on the back porch sipping her martini. The woman is pure gold. Yanno she actually still types letters on an old typewriter to her friends and family.
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