Ok so our fertility is like a ping pong game, every other week we are on a different page. Last week we decided, we aren't going to try, but we aren't going to hinder either. SO back to regular no condom sex we go. Wonderful (they really do irriate me after a while). Anyway, not thinking we go about our business last week, this week etc. Then as I sit here playing a game this afternoon it dawns on me. This time last year, I got pregnant with Michael. OMG I thought, this can't be happening. Now wait, before we jump to any conclusion, I have at least 1 1/2 weeks before I could test, but what kind of irony would that be?
So I talked to Phil about it over dinner tonight and he says, first that he had thought about that last night while falling asleep, and they he felt if I got pregnant it would be a positive sign that things would go our way. I hate feeling like I am on a see saw, teetering back and forth.
ALL I want in life to be a mother, to raise a child, to hear the words mom spoken in broken kidlingo, yet I am scared to death. I guess we shall wait and see, just what we have in store for us. Until then I hope to find some peace within myself.
1 comment:
hmmm that is interesting because i found out i was pregnant with maia on oct 7 2003 and so this too would be the same month and i was thinking the same thing. and jenn as well, this was the month that she got pregnant with ethan. as though everything is falling in line with this enormous circle.
i won't put any hope up in it's defense but how great would that be? the three of us going it together? something to make me smile anyway.
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