What a difference a year makes.

My, My, My
Let your bright light shine
Let your words live on
Far beyond this life
Beyond this life.

In the background I hear the music
The music that for the past year has soothed me
Has put me to sleep, blared while I cried,
played in the background while I type these blogs.

I love music, music of all kinds
There is so much expression in songs
So much emotion
Often times I find it hard to express myself
Then a song will come to mind.

Like at this very moment.

I feel like I need to be all graphic and express how tomorrow is going to be for me. The reality (at this moment) is that tomorrow is just another day in my life. I will wake up tomorrow and go about my day just as I would any other day. I will function, dress, cook, clean, launder. I will visit with my girls as they get dressed for their magical night at the formal. I dont think I have much of a choice but to live this life, or else I will miss the world moving around me. Nothing is going to change because Michael is forever in my mind.

Tomorrow is the 1 year anniversary of the loss of my son. A child I wanted more then life itself. Unfortunately, there were other worldly plans for him.

Tomorrow I will remember Michael, the way I felt having him in my belly, the slight movements he would make that I could feel, The joy he brought me when I looked at his ultrasound for the first time and saw his heartbeat, the many many journal entries I wrote before he was born, the way I felt holding him for the first time, tracing his body with my finger ever so gently, the items I bought him throughout the year that sit on his shelf. The lessons I have learned from his passing, and the wonderful gifts he has given me. Strength! Patience! Courage! Love!

I have alot to remember in this past year.

And I will remember these things in my own way.

PS: Thank you Angela for the beautiful card and all your heartwarming words. I appreciated receiving that in the mail today. You have been my friend since 3rd grade and I love you with all my heart. Thanks for being you.