It's been awhile

Since I watched anything birth related on TV, probably about a year. I was switching channels and came across a Baby Story. I hesitated whether to change the chanel but decided I would watch the true miracle of life. It was amazing to watch again, and happened to be an episode I had seem a long time ago. I guess they arent doing current shows this week or something.

Im proud that I was able to watch the show. I did shed a tear, wishing it were me. Someday!

I'll keep you my dirty little secret

Imagine my surprise when I opened PostSecret today and found my very own secret posted. When I was creating my secret I thought alot about the many secrets I have. I actually mailed in 2 different secrets. The one I would have preferred be posted was, so that sent my heart a flutter.
Lisa asked me, "was your secret about your cigs" Nope as I told you this afternoon, I did not send in about the cigs. Although it does fit me. Almost 10 months smoke free now... =)

So everyone wants to know my secret, Im sorry to say, I wont tell. Of course it would then not be a secret.

Make sure you bookmark the site, it is a wonderful place, He updates weekly so check it out every Monday if you remember.

Some are so sad, one today make me cry. I hope that person decided to keep collecting songs.

Gearing up for the holiday's

It's that time of the year again. Thanksgiving. I love getting together with family for Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, my brother and family will not be travelling in from Ohio =(. I secretly keep hoping they are trying to surprise me, but deep down inside I know they aren't. Moneys always tight it seems. In just a little less then 2 weeks, Phil and I will be going on our Decks the Halls wine weekend in NY. I can't wait to get away. I need the vacation. It's only 4 days but I certainly need it.

Funny thing is, if I was having normal cycles that weekend would be the "time" to get pregnant. Hmmm I wonder. I dont think I am ready but yanno what, that really isn't in my hands. When my time comes it will come.

Im looking forward to getting through the next 3 months. Hopefully with as minimal of pain as possible. I feel like I am back at square 1 again in the support department though. I will leave that for a post later today.

I keep getting emails from this annoying woman asking me why I havent been blogging. Sorry, I have been busy taking advantage of the weather and going outside!! Big boost for my weight loss.

13lbs already, Hopefully I can hit 25 by Christmas, that would make me smile.

Where have you been?

Ok so that is probably your question right?
Well I have been finding myself. Sounds silly right? But the truth of it all is I needed to find myself. My old self, before babies, and deliveries, and loss of life. The true me that had been hidden beneath the mask of losing the one thing I have always dreamt about. Motherhood. Now I am not saying there will not come a day, but right now, I need to get me back to being me.

Yanno when I met Phil I was 175lbs. Now on someone with my bone structure that is skinny. I was wearing a size 7-8 jeans. 2 weeks ago, 18's were snug. 10lbs per size, you do the math. then add 7lbs. Give up? Ok fine I will do the math for you. At last weigh in at the doctors office I was 287lbs. Amazing huh? I know I know I dont look like I weigh that much but I do.. Well I dont right now.. =)

Today I am happy to report that I have lost 8lbs since October 20th ( the day I changed my life) I still have a long way to go, but yanno what? I can do it. Now my weigh in day is friday, so I will check back then with an updated number for ya...

So for every 10lbs I lose it's a special treat. The treat only I could love. SHOES!!!! Yup that's right, every time I lose 10lbs I will go buy myself a new pair of shoes. hmmm maybe a purse.. Oh well I will decide, something for me though.

So that is where I am at and what I have been up to.
This week may be a small loss week as I had some minor surgery yesterday and I can't do my full workout. But I am still walking, even if it is really slowly. Im not letting that get me down, as by tomorrow or thursday I should be ready to get back to my workout full steam ahead.

Keep it real, or you will really keep it. (weight that is)